Tonight the premiere episode for the 5th season of Bullshit! was on Showtime. I love that show. Admittedly, this episode was not the best, but I enjoyed it anyhow. The topic was obesity.

Penn & Teller reveal truths about the Obesity epidemic. A visit to an Obesity conference exposes the uncomfortably cozy relationships between the medical establishment, the diet companies and the weight loss industry. An advocacy group for overweight people tells us about the hardships and discrimination brought about by their weight. Plus, the first-ever Penn & Teller ‘Fat Guy Olympics.’

I have been thinking about my weight for some time. The ‘Olympics’ were an exaggerated way of proving of a point; weight does not necessarily have a correlation to health. I like this point of view, having always been a big guy in regards to my height and age.

In the last 5 years, I’ve been a big guy for all the wrong reasons though. This morning, in fact, I had to stop by the local lab for some blood tests before work. They made me pee in a cup too! You see, after I recovered from that nasty cold a couple of weeks ago I experienced some anxiety attacks, and a few other weird feelings in my chest and belly. Not one for dropping dead, I decided to go see the doctor for a checkup. He loves sending people for blood tests- and this time, I even won a referral to his cardiologist of choice. Apparently my heart beat is up, my pulse is strong like bull, and it’s worth figuring out if I got heart issues or just need some crazy pills for stress. I like the latter, but hey- why not hook up to the machine?

I’ve never been to a cardiologist, and I’ve never really investigated where my fat ass stands when it comes to how my heart deals with my weight. I mentioned it to a few people in passing, and heard interesting things about running on treadmills, wearing a heart monitor for 24 hours, and other special tests. I don’t really think there is anything seriously wrong me, but better safe than sorry. My wife was quick to point out the hospital where this cardiologist resides also happens to be where George Harrison went just before he died. She really gives me that warm and loving feeling during times of stress.

So like I was saying, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me other than not exercising or eating right in the now twilight of my twenties. My mother says, ‘baby, you’re chubby; no more apple turnovers for you’ because she cares- and my father is now full swing with ‘I was exactly your age when I quick smoking cold turkey‘. No apple turnovers, no smoking. Doctor said I need to chill out with the caffeine (and ultimately everything that is finger licking good). I’m not intimidated by this. I never really had trouble with quitting bad habits.

The new episode of Bullshit! really just reminded me how self conscience I am about my weight; yet how aggravating I find it when people lecture me about my bad habits and lack of exercise. Just because I’m a big guy doesn’t mean I’m falling apart. I coincidentally ran into a cute video on YouTube tonight that relates directly to the story:

A nice video. I readily admit it: I am not a healthy fat guy, I am overweight because I am out of shape. Strong, but chubbers. The anxiety is something else, but I’m sure I’ll work it out. I’m willing to bet getting in shape will clear it up too. By the way, the first picture in this entry is a stress test. Look at the two dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins should appear identical. In recent studies, it was discovered that a person under stress will perceive differences between these two dolphins. /sigh.

Filed under: Speak Easy